Swedish man dies after having sex with a Christmas tree

A thorny Christmas indeed A Swedish man died this morning as a result of attempting to have coitus with a decorated Christmas tree. The man, who was a family man in his mid 40's residing in Gothenburg, was according to local Swedish news, found in a pool of his own blood with his pants around his ankles. His penis was lacerated by pine needles and bauble-shards making it evident to medics that he had bled out as a result of the injuries. Semen and pubic hair was reportedly found on the scene. Swedish news spoke to the distraught wife of the man, and we were able to translate what she had to say: - I just don't get it. This is so bizarre. I mean he always loved Christmas and especially Christmas trees. He had a weird habit of fondling the tree's baubles and stroking its needly twigs every night before Christmas, but I always thought it was just a strong love for tradition - I could never imagine it being a fetish - I can't believe he's gone. A vigil was held in the man's neighborhood this evening local time, and there it was decided that the man would be buried alongside his last lay - the Christmas tree. His friends and family reportedly said "he would have wanted it that way". To discuss this story, tweet under #SexWithXmasTree