Hillary Clinton wants to ban Vodka in the US - "Russian drinks are homophobic"

It's the end of Vodka in the US - at least if former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gets her way.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, the stalwart, political aficionado who has time and time again been presaged to become president in 2016, has made a puzzling and very controversial statement - a statement that makes her steadfast, feminist and anti-homophobic stance unequivocal - early this morning she announced that she will ban the import of Vodka when (or if) she becomes president:

"As you all know, Vodka is a product of Russian origin and the way Russia treats its homosexual population is absolutely atrocious. I want to prohibit the import and the vendoring of the spirit so as to send Putin a signal that we won't trade with homophobes. Drinking Vodka will henceforth be seen as an act of homophobia and will not be tolerated in my America", says the former senator in a passionate speech.

She continues to outline the punishments selling or importing Vodka will result in.

"All stores around the country will be under an embargo. The sale of illicit Vodka product will result in at least 6 months in jail. It is my hope I will be able to walk around in the bars of New York city, and everywhere else for that matter, and not see a single vodka bottle. Perhaps it will be in vain, but at least we will have shown the Russians where we stand on LGBT issues. The sooner we ban the drink, the sooner embrace a warm and tolerant, equal society.”

Clinton confirmed that she will propose this law to her good friend and president, Barack Obama, and if Obama doesn’t enforce it, she hopes she will get the chance to one day. The Secretary of State ended her speech with a command to vote for her, so that she can potato based spirit.

“Vote Hillary 2016, end the homophobia of Vodka”

We approached a liqourshop-keeper on a busy street in Brooklyn, and asked him what he thinks of the proposed bill. He was very negative to it.

“Hillary aIways got her nose in everyone elses business, I don't give a rats as if Russians made it, as long as it sells well." To discuss this news story, tweet under #HillaryBansVodka