Why the dadbod is hot and muscly dudes are disgusting

So apparently "dad-bods" are in this summer. Dadbods are male bodies that don't have chiselled abs, toned arms or shoulders and maybe even have beer bellies and a muffin top. Traditionally big, muscular and broad-shouldered men have been the ideal, but it seems like that era is over - big time.

Dadbods are totally gorgeous. There is something so masculine about the lava-looking tummy spilling over the pants in that "I'm out of shape, but I don't give a fuck" way, there's something so titillating about soft, narrow shoulders, that you can hold onto when you're doing the deed, and the way that you can see slight manboobs when they're wearing a shirt is super cute. Guys with dadbods are kind, friendly and comfortable in their own skin.

Guys who workout to get big on the other hand, are totally disgusting, and they need to know we think that way about them. There's nothing more offputting than a dude walking around thinking he's the shit because he's got some bulging balloon animal biceps. Gymrats think they own the world but they can't enjoy themselves because they can't treat themselves with a pizza now and then. It's so girly and really uptight to go around caring so much about your appearance, I mean they're like stuck-up Ken Dolls. The worst thing about it is they think they're attractive to girls, but this is simply not true, at all. Sure maybe like some girls are tricked into banging them cuz they got that little confident Alpha male thing going on, but bottom line is we laugh about big guys behind their backs. Dadbods is where it's at for most girls.

I used to date a muscly guy once. I can't believe I could fall for him, but somehow, despite his muscles, he somehow made me get butterflyes. Then it all came crashing down when I realized that I was just a sidechick and that he was sleeping with tons of other girls. Typical gymrat, that's what they'll do to you, USE you! A dadbod would never do that, cuz dadbods are really secure and happy with themselves. I swore to never date a gymrat again, and I've almost kept that promise, apart from a few one night stands (that don't really count). I haven't gotten around to dating a dadbod yet, but that's what I really intend to do, because they really are the real men.

Bottom line is, big dudes are gross and feminine. Caring so much about your appearance will not get you any girls at all. Girls want guys with dad boys, guys who don't obsess about being the biggest and the strongest and with the hottest, most swollen muscles in the gym that feel like really hard and tight - no, they're just happy being who they are and girls like that.

Guys if you want to get girls - stop going to the gym, because you're disgusting

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