Women over 30 are bitter, spiteful and most importantly, very ugly

Chad O' Reagan is a self-proclaimed "Gym Rat" and a "proud male Chauvinist"

I’m going to be brief and direct, because I think you people deserve to know what people truly think of you There’s a certain breed of woman that all men wish would just disappear from the face of the Earth. They’re everywhere you go and every day they add millions to their already grotesque numbers. They hobble around the streets like something out of a nightmare and are loud, rude and obnoxious, but most of all visually repulsive. I sometimes wish Google would invent Glasses that could filter them out from my reality – now that’s something I’d spend at least 2000 dollars on – I mean what else is a guy to do for some peace of mind? I can scarcely have a peaceful walk back from a rock hard, animalistic, testosterone-pumping session at the gym without my eyeballs being assaulted by these Trollish creatures.

I think you’ve already guessed it, but if you haven’t, I’m talking, of course, of women over 30 or “Wrinkle-beasts” as my friends and I call them. Something happens when a girl turns 30 that utterly destroys everything that was good about her before. There’s this magic wall that women all seem to collide with, head first, on their 30th birthday that robs them of all that is holy and turns them into a sickly ghost of what they once were. Women, up until the age of thirty, are like May flowers, with soft, youthful skin, bright eyes, and a happy glow about them that makes men’s juices flow, but once the big 3-O hits them, they all whither, become grey, sag and their overall spirit becomes mean and spiteful. When women hit thirty, they suddenly realize that they have lost everything that made their life in their teens and twenties so darn exciting, namely, their attractiveness. EVERY man on this planet would agree that there’s a great divide between 19 year old women and 30+ year old women. It’s like comparing the most delicious, succulent ice cream made from milk of well-fed Swiss cows, compared to Walmart Ice-cream that’s been left out in the rain for two hours and which has been pissed in by dogs with urinary tract infection. And that’s why women over 30 are so spiteful, rude and obnoxious – they’re jealous of their, younger, prettier and adventurous 19-year old counterparts. They realize that they’ve lost all their looks it dawns on them that men don’t care about their stupid career and that would sooner go out with someone almost half their age than spend any time with them despite all their “accomplishments.”

WO30s (Women Over 30) know that the reason that their life seems grey and dull now compared to when they were young and beautiful, is due to the wrinkles and have begun creeping across their faces, the muffin top that’s begun to burst out of their jeans and the southward movement of their tits. WO30s can no longer use their sex appeal to get what they want – to get into any club, to get a rich handsome boyfriend – to be treated like Goddesses everywhere they go. Suddenly men don’t even cat call them on the streets anymore and despite having been annoyed by it before, the WO30s start to miss it, desperately.

Now, I’m 28 years old, but life is just going to get better and better, because, hey, I’m a guy. My friends and I are big guys who can get with anyone we want - and guess who we go for? That’s right, the hot 18, 19 and 20 olds we meet at the club. They’re hungry to be with us, just as you are, the only difference is that they get us and you don’t. Being a successful, handsome guy, I can keep getting young, nubile bitches well into my fifties. But all you WO30s will never get near a guy like me. There’s nothing that makes successful, handsome guys’ penises shrink more than a woman over 30. Just look at Leonardo DiCaprio - that man can have any woman on the planet, and how many 35-year old Single moms does he go out with? That’s right, 0. Men DON'T like spinsters, it’s as simple as that. So I guess what I’m trying to tell you in this little rant is this: if you’re a woman over the age of 30, your life is over and no man will ever look at you again. I think we should seriously BAN women over 30! Like ship them off to their own island where they can nag and bicker amongst themselves and not bother us, youthful, beautiful people. Damn I love being a man. Have fun with your cats

To discuss this with me, tweet under #WO30