Brazilian man loses his penis after having sex with an Anteater

That’s not an ant! – Brazilian man gets frisky with an Anteater and loses his bits in the process

São Paulo, Brazil –A 34-year old man was rushed to the hospital at 10 am local time, suffering from profuse bleeding from his nether regions. The man, whose penis was severed from his body, told the medical staff that he had attempted to “get a blowjob” from an Anteater he had come across in a trek in the jungle outside of the city. Evidently, the suction from the animal’s long thin snout ripped the man’s penis from its roots, causing the severe bleeding.

We have translated an interview from a local newspaper with the doctor that is treating him. This is what he had to say about the remarkable incident. - It is profoundly obvious that this man has attempted to engage in some sort of sexual act with this animal and that the sheer force of the suction that the anteater usually uses to suction ants tore his limb off. This is a never before reported case in medical history, I mean, people have been suffering injuries from having sex with animals for ages, but anteaters are an unexplored domains. The brother of the injured man was able to relay some of what his brother had told him in the emergency room. This is what he told the local newspaper.

- My brother Miguel told me he was just “curious” about what it would feel like to stick his dick in the suctioning mouth of an anteater. He told me it was the best two seconds of his life before his penis was actually torn off. This is obviously very embarrassing for our entire family but I believe the real victim here is the poor anteater.

The anteater in question reportedly swallowed the detached penis and has not been located - thus, there’s only a slim chance that Miguel will ever see his prized jewel again.

The story is still developing, but as soon as we know more of Miguel and the anteater’s fate, we’ll update you.

In the meantime, tweet under #AntEaterJob to discuss this bizarre tale