The Minions are sexist and need to be banned

20 year old feminist Cassidy Boon finds the Minions from Despicable Me sexist and wants them banned

I am literally shaking right now. Like, I can't believe they're still here - scratch that - they're not just here, they're everywhere. There's no escaping them. Everywhere you look you see those diabolical little yellow potatoes grinning at you with their oogly eyes, giving off the impression that they're scheming to hurt you in some way or another. Some people think they're cute and I have no idea how any person with a sane mind can find those disgusting little blobs of sexism and oppression cute. I want to choke every one who's posting pictures of them on their facebook with stupid quotes next to them - you are all embarrassing and I can't believe you don't understand what you're supporting. Okay so if you haven't guessed it already (and you must be very stupid if you haven't), I am talking about Minions. Minions are the evil creatures that were first featured in the movie Despicable Me, a horrid film about some bald headed chump doing evil stuff. Anyway so the minions are literally his minions and they help out Gru (the name of this Chump) with his plans to take over the world. Now this seems all harmless so far, right? Well it's not. The Minions are deeply sexist and problematic beings and now I'm going to tell you why.

There are only male minions in the films. Yeah, you heard that right. Out of thousands of minions, or yellow fucks, as I like to call them, there are absolutely ZERO female ones - they all got little banana dicks. This is obviously a concious decision by the creator of the films to absolutely alienate little girls and make all females who watch the films feel like they don't belong, like they don't matter, like they're not worthy of being represented on screen. Little girls across the globe who go to the cinema with their parents are having to endure 90+ minutes of woman bashing and the exclusion of women. Is this 2015 or have I travelled back in time? How can anyone be allowed to not feature at least ONE FUCKING FEMALE when making little characters that kids are obviously are going to look up to and have as role models. All the little sexist boys around the country are over the moon that there are only male minions, they probably walk around the school yard boasting that "There are only male minions" or "You can't be a minion, you're a girl". What's worse is that they've got their own movie, in theatres now. This movie is a completely disgusting minion-fest, where the sexism and misogyny gets even more apparent and is basically smeared in our faces. Yes, I went and see it, only so that I could write this article, but let me tell you, I have never seen such. fucking. blatant. sexism on the big screen since Cars 2. It's all male. Male perspectives. Male voices. Male. Male. Male. Male. Where the hell are the female minions who have alternative perspectives on reality? Where the hell are the strong independent girl-minions that whoop ass and take names, all the while taking care of the bumbling fools that are the male minions? No where to be seen - No where at all. And to add even more injury, some of the Minions are even known to be cross dressers, outright mocking women's spaces and women's identities. It's all a big bundle of sexism packaged for our children to eat it right up.

It's time we put a stop to these yellow devils before they hurt more young girls across the world. We can't let movies that market to kids display this kind of flagrant sexism that basically sets women back decades. I am starting a hashtag campaign called #BanTheMinions and intend it to get big, big to the point that millions of people unite behind the hashtag and get those yellow little fuckers banned from ever appearing in another movie, or anywhere else for that matter. We must take a stand against sexism in the movie industry, because if we don't, our daughters and grand daughters will look back and ask "Mom, why didn't you protest about the Minions?" So yeah, get behind the movement and discuss it under the hashtag #BanTheMinions, maybe if we get enough people behind it, the movie studio will consider scrapping the Minions for. fucking. good.